The Artist’s Way, Week 1, permission to be myself
Here is my honest reflection of what unfolded for me during the first week of The Artist’s Way process of Creative Expansion, as I began making space for the part of myself that deeply wants to create something and bring something into existence that doesn’t yet exist.
I realized something this week…
What if recovering a sense of safety to create, begins with no longer abandoning yourself in places where you don’t feel aligned?
This week, I moved through some deeply challenging moments, personally.
I had to confront relationships and expectations that no longer felt right for me, and acknowledge some uncomfortable truths about what I had been seeking through them.
I wanted connection, friendship, belonging, to feel included, understood and chosen.
I also began recognizing that I was working to create connections that didn’t fully reflect what I wanted or needed.
I had to make some difficult choices to remain aligned.
I expressed my truth, I established my boundaries, and I also acknowledge my own part in what happened and was honest with myself about what I was truly experiencing and how it felt misaligned
This was essentially me recovering my permission to be myself.
Not the version that has to be agreeable to belong, accommodating enough to be accepted, or willing to overlook my own needs to preserve a connection.
I had to learn my lessons:
- to want connection without chasing it,
- to stand in my truth without closing my heart,
- and to interrupt and let something go without feeling there’s something wrong with me.
But most of all, the biggest lesson I had to implement was to acknowledge what mattered for me, own my part in the reflected experience and recognize that what I wanted wasn’t necessarily the relationships that were available to me.
Now, quick note and reminder for those who are not yet familiar with this writing process for creative expansion. I started this 12-week process, for myself as well as for other who want to join in doing this amazing journey of expanding our capacity to create and so much more… you can view the original post here:
Anyone can join at any time… take a peak at the detailed description of what it entails in the above entry ☝️.
Making Space for My Creative Self
So, how does all of this connect to the first week of The Artist’s Way and recovering a sense of safety for my creativity?
In my week 1 introduction piece, Recovering the Courage to Create, I mentioned the importance of making space for our creative selves, and this for me took the form of: beginning to recognize the things that might prevent me from fully expressing the parts of who I am.
Making space for myself to create, I realize now, isn’t only about setting aside time to write, create, or explore new possibilities.
It has really also asked me to take a look at the spaces and scenarios that I occupy in my life and which occupy space in my Mind.
- Am I allowing myself to be freely me?
- Where am I compromising what matters to me?
- And, isn’t it time to be fully honest with myself, rather than live with that gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach that things are not right (and keep those tabs open in my mind because they aren’t resolved within me honestly)?
Expansion is about clean-up at first. It begins with recognizing what we can no longer keep carrying the same way, so to make room for what we do want to begin carrying.
I’m doing The Artist’s Way process to explore, to notice, to become more honest with myself every day by showing up to the Page.
To make room for the parts of me that want to emerge and to discover what becomes possible when I begin relating to myself and my creative capacity differently.
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